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Ways in which The Phantom Menace went serioulsy wrong 

Fully C.G.I.
Jar Jar Binks

 

1. OVER-FLAUNTING C.G.I. TECHNOLOGY
I have nothing against computer animation, (I'm a professional computer animator myself). But I feel that Phantom Menace depended too heavily on the "tricks" of Industrial Light & Magic instead of great storytelling, Jar Jar most of all. To test, imagine each scene that he is in without Jar Jar and the scene still works. Many fans found Jar Jar particularly irritating to watch.

In the previous trilogy (Episodes IV-VI), the comedy-element was provided by R2-D2 and C-3P0. But in addition to their "comical-ness", R2 and 3P0 were an integral part of the plot and as such had many "non-humorous" moments onscreen. The comedy element in Phantom Menace however (Jar Jar), acts more as an annoying side-show from the plot, thrown in as an afterthought to "lighten the mood". Although it should be noted that a great deal of Jar Jar's irritativeness is Ahmed Best's obnoxious voiceovers. (Lucas shouldn't have used him!)

Being a computer graphics professional myself, I attest that "organic" computer-generated characters still do not quite hold their own against the more traditional foam-latex masks, prosthetics, and makeup. As lifelike as lighting, mapping, and motion-capture get, character-animation still looks "computer-generated" to some degree and dates itself very rapidly. Compare the classic Terminator with the computer-effects-heavy Terminator II, and you will see how the sequel ironically appears more dated now.

...and speaking of, when are the folks at Lucasfilm going to stop computer-generating Jabba the Hutt, considering that the original lifesize puppet of the character created for Return of the Jedi looks a thousand times better?!


 

2. THE BOY WONDER
Probably my biggest complaints are to be found with the young Anakin Skywalker. Contrary to popular opinion, I do not believe it is Jake Lloyd's fault. The screenplay has the young Anakin simply too good to be true.

It is far too unrealistic for Anakin to be:

  1. An expert inventor-mechanic-scientist,
  2. A super-daredevil stunt pilot winning a dangerous race for his life and freedom,
  3. Have super force powers even greater than Yoda,
  4. and have a generous heart of gold to boot,
...ALL AT THE TENDER YOUNG AGE OF NINE!

More emphasis should have been placed on Anakin's potential to eventually fall prey to his anger and pride. The fact that many "non-Star Wars fans" never connected the little star of the movie with Darth Vader of the earlier installments is proof of this. In a pivital scene within the Terry Brooks novelization, young Anakin breaks out into fisticuffs with a Rodian youngster and lets his anger get the best of him. This short but important segment should have made it into the film, as it gives a hint of how Anakin cannot control his anger (as Luke himself eventually had to learn to do), or else be lured to the Dark Side.

It is a grave mistake to tell of Anakin's fall as if he were completely an innocent victom. What about the inherent "dark side" within each one of us, and of free will; (the ability to CHOOSE to be either good or evil)? Lucas obviously wants us to love Anakin as we loved naive young Luke, and that is a mistake!


the many faces
of Master Yoda
 

3. WHAT HAPPENED TO YODA?
No one can tell me that the Yoda puppet used in The Phantome Menace is the exact same one used in The Empire Strikes Back, (...unless because of time, the puppet had to have some serious plastic surgery to be usable after 16 years of shelving).

His eyes are much larger and the irises of his eyeballs are much lighter and more assertive this time around. His brow is also much more pronounced and his nose is upturned and more "pig-like". The wrinkling furrows upon his scull are ironically more detailed at this younger stage than in Empire. Adding thicker hair was also a stupid idea. (30 years to Yoda would be the equivalent of about 2.5 years to you & I). "When over 900 years old you reach, no visible difference will only 30 years back in time make."

Also, why does Yoda seem so emotionally tense and aggravated in this Episode when he is so tranquil and stoic in the earlier installments? He seems to have very little of the inner-peace and tranquility, self-control or Toaist wisdom that he emanates in Episodes V and VI. He comes across as that one obstainate asshole in every office meeting who likes to hear himself loudly pontificate rather than a spiritual guide to the Jedi Knights.


4. MIDICHLORIANS
Dumb. I for one find the Midichlorian explanation to be completely retarded! Explaining the force as a biological substance totally destroys all connotation of the force as a philosophical discipline/almost a pseudo-religion limiting it to that of a germ or a gene. The force should have been only partially explained as a sort of parallel Buddhist philosophy, a "mind-over-matter", soul-over-substance belief system. Using the Midichlorian theory, now only those born with the proper genetics can become great. (Sounds kinda' elitist to me)! This takes away some of the "anyone can do it if they only try hard enough" premise and makes the escapism/fantasy element abit less believable for the viewer, especially a young starry-eyed imaginative child.


5. THE PODRACE AND GUNGAN BATTLE SCENES
Now don't get me wrong, both of these scenes are breathtaking and very exciting. My jaw dropped more than once the first time I saw them. But...each scene occupies a great deal of movie time and simply are not all that pivital to the telling of Anakin Skywalker's rise and fall, and the fall of the Old Republic; at least not as much as Senator Palpatine's rise in the Galactic Senate and the Jedi Council's rejection of little Anakin which are far more important but disappointingly get less attention. The Podrace and Gungan Battle scenes almost seem like distractions from a very serious plot put in to show-off technology and to entertain the non Star Wars fans who don't follow the story from one movie to another.


an incomplete
C3P0
 

6. ANAKIN BUILDING C3P0
The Star Wars Galaxy is growing smaller all the time, too small to be believable. Having Anakin create C3P0 is just too coincidental. The odds of Anakin creating C3P0 and owning R2D2 and then the exact two same droids "accidentally" becoming his very own son's in the future is preposterous, to say nothing of being totally ridiculous!

R2D2 and C3P0 should not have been in the Prequel trilogy at all in my opinion. Notice how the original Star Wars (Episode IV) takes special care to introduce the "Laurel & Hardy-esque" relationship of the comical droid duo. It will undoubtedly seem odd when, (in the future), viewers watch the series in the order of their episodal numbers. Episode IV's introduction of R2 and 3P0 will seem strange and unnecessary because Episode I already introduced them.


7. THE JEDI COUNCIL
With the exception of Master Yoda, the Great Jedi Council were all too young-looking and extra-terrestial in my opinion. Compare Sir Alec Guiness's brilliantly patriarchal performance as Jedi Master Obi Wan Kenobi to these Masters and you will instantly see how poorly they stack up. Other than Samuel L. Jackson, there weren't enough humanoids on the venerable council. As aliens they look generic somewhat. They mostly look like rejected alien character designs from a TV sci-fi production like Star Trek Deep Space 9. This multi-cultural group comes off as "politically-correct" as Bill Clinton's Presidential Cabinet.

Also, the Jedi-Council Throne Room looks more like a futuristic corporate conference room with its aerodynamically designed "power-chairs" set within a giant skyscraper with a bird's eye view of Coruscant's cityscape. The Jedi Council should have had many more aged and hooded, venerable, wise old male humans with long white beards and set in an ancient temple-style environment, which would evoke the antiquity and awesome nature of the Jedi religeon. (Afterall, Grand Moff Tarkin himself refers to the Jedi as an ancient religeon in Star Wars Episode IV).


8. MARKETING
I don't mean to imply that the marketing of The Phantom Menace failed in any way, on the contrary, it acheived its goals extremely well and that is the problem. The problem is that much of the movie was too influenced by marketing.

The more you try to please everyone, the less you end up pleasing anyone, and The Phantom Menace is no exception! I mean who was this movie really made for anyway, the fans, the generic masses, or the toy manufacturers? If for the fans, then why wasn't more emphasis put on Anakin Skywlker and his rise to greatness and less time wasted on introducing new characters who have little to do with this central theme? George Lucas is dangerously running the risk of alienating a very loyal fan following in favor of an initially more lucrative one. Is a speedy profitable return on your investment really worth giving up a slower, more evenly-paced but much more steady influx of loyal finacial support over a much longer period of time? I say not! This movie should have had us, (the die-hard fans), in mind more than it did and we all know that. George Lucas should have consulted with us, the fans, as to what we think and what we'd be most excited to see in this film. The purpose of this website is to remind George Lucas that there is a vast audience out there who LOVE this shit and hope he doesn't repeat the same mistakes twice. Make this one for us George; afterall, it's fans like us who've made you & your family a millionare many times over!

 
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